Friendship is the key to success

Recently I conducted classes with my "difficult"teenagers. "Friendship. What is this? "- that was the topic of our conversation. My boys and girls prepared for this activity with great pleasure. Found a lot of statements of famous people, many proverbs. I have a kind of group, the guys often do not have enough attention, so they did not miss the opportunity to speak and stay in the spotlight. The result of the lessons was unexpected for me.

It turns out that some of my players are notagree that friendship is, first of all, spiritual intimacy. Not all, but a part of the guys on the question of what friendship is in their personal opinion, in the first place put forward not altogether definitions. That's how their answers sounded:

- Friendship is when it's fun to hang out together. (Quote).

- This is when you can count on help, take something there or take money. (Quote).

- Friendship is if you go with a friend, you spend time. (Quote).

I, of course, took into account that all my teenagers are not from well-off families, but this attitude towards the concept of "Friendship" has greatly upset me. And I decided to continue the conversation without questioning.

It turned out that my children, in general, understand thatfriendship should be disinterested, that it implies emotional attachment. After reading a lot of quotes and sayings (unfortunately not in books but in social networks), they reasonably know that true friendship is a readiness for patience, boundless confidence, the ability to rush to any help, even the most unexpected moment, to support one's companion .

But it was to this that the teenagers were not ready. In a sincere conversation they shared with me their fears.

- You say that friendship is trust. What if I tell my girlfriend something, and she tells everyone? - Alice worried.

"Does not the need to share their experiences with someone, especially negative emotions, pour out their emotions on someone is not considered self-interest?" Asked the more well-read Anton.

There were many opinions and doubts, it's good that the guys do not hesitate to talk to me about what worries them. And I made one, very unpleasant conclusion for myself.

We often talk about the loneliness of people in a largecity. Many of us are not ready to emotionally open up to another person, are not ready to put their friend's interests above their own. Do we need to do this in the modern world? The issue is controversial and also ambiguous.

Just one thing: people who do not have at least one true friend, are often deeply unhappy.

But when we talk about loneliness, we are not at allwe are thinking about the fact that we are alone not only through our own fault, but also through the fault of our teachers and parents. I know how teachers will turn against me now. I know how hard their work is: she has worked with teenagers for many years. But, you must agree, telling children about the lives of great people, their friends and loved ones, we often do not affect the soul of our children. We do not say that friendship is an unconditional condition for the harmonious existence of man. Friends have one heart for two, one values, one worldview. We are not talking about the fact that you can not choose a friend on purpose. Friendship arises only where there is mutual understanding, intercourse without any sexual overtones.

True friendship is the greatest emotional attachment, the desire for a common perspective, understanding on an intuitive level, boundless trust.

And all this must necessarily teach children. To teach to help and endure, to teach trust and trust, to teach to communicate.

How to do it? A difficult question, on which it is impossible to give an unambiguous answer. Probably, it is necessary to teach the children to respect others, to be able to forgive, to listen to the opinion of comrades, to struggle with one's own selfishness. And still need to teach children loyalty, devotion to patience, develop their normal self-esteem. A child who believes in himself can rather open himself up to meet another person and accept his emotional attachment.

To teach this you need from birth and not so much in words as by your own behavior, your example, your whole way of life.

If we parents and teachers have realfriends, if we are sociable and respect others, our children will also grow successful, prosperous, understanding that true friendship makes life richer, more emotional, more successful.